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 Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic

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Favorite Main Character
The Mage King
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Malfatto D'chelli
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Antonio
33%
 33% [ 1 ]
Mei Ling
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Brutus of Scantarva
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Father Frein
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Lord Akdael
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Arkan
67%
 67% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
 

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Cryomancer
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PostSubject: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:38 am

Dead Men Tell No Tales
<*>



Centauria Democratica's Info:
Spoiler:
 

Backstory:

On an island about 20 times the size of Manhattan.... Off the coast of Greenland... Lies a small nation. A nation that controlled most of the world for a while. Here lies Centauria Democratica, the Nation of Worlds. It is in some political turmoil. The President is now nothing but a puppet for a King only the old priests of the Atheistic Church of CD remember, and walls have gone up around the nation. The lush fields of the south provide food, but the people still starve. Cryopolis, the capital, is now home to thieves and a new group of rebels. "Los Liberadoras", a group of mostly Portuguese assassins and genii. They have grouped together to try and overthrow the king once and for all. They are going up against a nation.


Characters:

Spoiler:
 


Groups within CD:

Spoiler:
 

More things will be added as the story progesses.

All criticisms and thoughts are accepted.

Happy Reading!


~A~



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PostSubject: merger   Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:13 pm

awesome
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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:32 pm

Iraemancer, please post in the review topic (here), not in the actual epic.

Sorry, AF, I don't have a full review just yet. :P



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:33 pm

Irae: Well, gee, that was constructive. :P

Wally: Take your time.




~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:24 pm

I like it, of course. :P It sets a dark and odd mood.

I did notice a couple of things, though. Firstly, for a First Police Unit, they seemed awfully gullible. :P Secondly, eagles don't caw...



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:33 pm

The story IS very odd and dark.
Unit One is not very smart. :P

And I've replaced "Caw" with "noise".

:P



~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:37 pm

I assumed it would be odd and dark. What epic of yours hasn't been? :P (AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED SOME COUNTERPOINT COMEDIES, SPECTRAL)

And I see.



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:46 pm

well next time im stopped by the police I know what trick to use...

btw when are there gonna be more dead men tell no tales installments?
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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:51 pm

@Irae: You can call it DMTNT if you want. I plan to update it by sections, once every one or two weeks.

@Wally: I WILL WRITE A COMEDY NEXT



~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 10:01 pm

It'll probably be a dark and odd comedy, too. :P



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 10:20 pm

Twisted Comedy, my specialty.


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 10:38 pm

I thought it was Spectral's humor. :P

Also, I was wondering... what will Arkan's name change to, if requested? Or is it that an alternate name can be submitted?



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:15 pm

Well, it's up to Arkadios.
It's his avatar, it's based off of him.

He can change it whenever he wants.

Likewise, you all can have characters in it if you want. :P


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:08 am

Twisted Comedy is my humor. I like Arty's comedies. :P

My style... you tell me what my style is, I dunno. I'm about to read it, Arty, and I'll let you know what I think.

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:13 am

YAY SPECTRAL

REEEAD.


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:17 am

Very interesting. As always, you appeared to be inspired by something brilliant (Assassin's Creed) and turned it into something even greater. However, you carried over a few elements from AC that ruined the effect - the ethnicities of the characters? The picture in the first post of this topic? Your story is good, but some of the elements carried over from AC make it seem unoriginal. In addition, all three officers in one swipe? Killing one that way is epic, but three is unrealistic, and more action could've taken place if Antonio needed three seperate tricks. That move made him seem like Harly, which isn't nessessarily a good thing (though we all love him).

It's not bad, but anyone who knows where that picture's from feels a little disapointed afterward. I won't make any suggestions on how to fix the things I don't like here, but if you want them, I can give them. Still, you have author's powers to do whatever you want - don't let my opinions change your story, at the very most lightly influence it.

Sorry if this was overly negative, but coming to the review and seeing AC shocked me, and I suddenly put a lot of puzzle peices togather about Antonio that disapointed me. That's all for now...

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:19 am

NOW I know where that picture's from. :P

I still think Malfatto and the Mage King are good characters...



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:27 am

@Spectral: Well duh, what did you think I meant when I said that this was a mix between Assassins Creed and Looking for Group? Something not Assassins Creed? :P

As for the banner, well, it was the best working image.
I originally considered finding images or commissioning them on Deviant Art for the characters, but it seems to me that this image fit them all the best.


As for the TRIPLE KILL [/call of duty], you must understand a couple things:

One, Antonio is one of the most quick/flexible characters in this world, and two, the three guards were grouped together.

Perhaps only two guards were killed in from behind, and the third turned around, getting sliced, STILL, in the neck, but I'll leave that to you reader. Wink

And the ethnic backgrounds of the players?
Let me tell you something, neither Altair or Ezio were Portuguese.

I simply chose the background because, one, I wasn't going to have them ALL Americans, and two, I can speak some Spanish.



@Wally:

THEY ARE THANK YOU
I think you might like Malfatto.




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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:33 am

Wait a minute, I thought you already were Malfatto

I sure don't see why I'd dislike him. :P Also, that is one flaw with the Assassin's Creed banner... it doesn't have the Mage King.



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:36 am

Well, the Mage King is only seen towards, like, the end of Chapter 2....

And I plan to make each chapter have about 10 sections... So yeah.

I think there's a reason he isn't on there. :P


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:43 am

Whoa wow what.

I thought you said he was the main character? :P



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:44 am

The Mage King is HEARD from, he's just not SEEN, or given a DESCRIPTION.

:P


And Antonio is the main character.



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:55 am

Okay then. :P Still, the Mage King's one of my favorite characters.



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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:03 am

And he should be.

He's maging up your countries, snatching yo' conspiracers up, gotta hide 'em all cuz he's maging up everyone out there.


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:16 am

When you said it would be a mix of Assassin's Creed and Looking for a Group, I expected something like this. I just didn't know DMTNT was a mix of Assassin's Creed and Looking for a Group - I thought you were talking about something else.

This story would be great if you shook off your roots and went in your own direction with it, something you are capable of doing and might still do. It's good, but it's not great... yet.

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:20 am

What else would I be talking about? :P

Well, I assure you I will try to be creative as it progresses.

:P


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:00 am

Arkadios wrote:
I applause you,


very nice job, and very exiting.


keep up the good work.




~Arkadios~

A reminder, all posts reviewing the story go in the review topic.

And thank you.


The next chapter would be up today, but I managed to leave it at school.


~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:10 am

I've heard

Sideways Grin



~Arkadios~

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Conspiracy"



Knowing the countless names of those who died for freedom is knowing the names of the ones who fought for there freedom, the loss of life will never be enough to keep peace, the beasts thirst for blood will never be quenched.


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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:14 am

Do try to be a little more creative when posting a review, though.
:P


Anyways, next section will include a look into Antonio's backgrounds...
As well as a look at the marvelous-ness that is Arkan.



~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:13 pm

*Fangirls gasps*

*Fangirl faints*

Finally


~Arkan~

P.S Hows that for original?

Koolade, ooh... YA...

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Conspiracy"



Knowing the countless names of those who died for freedom is knowing the names of the ones who fought for there freedom, the loss of life will never be enough to keep peace, the beasts thirst for blood will never be quenched.


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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:46 am

Uh, 1-2 will be up soon, probably posted half at a time.
I'm sorry for the long waits, school has been very busy this...
Well...
Year. :P
So, in any case, the new section will go over just a little background, and show
some of the skills of the second in command Liberadora, Arkan.



~A~

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:52 pm

Read it, very interesting, and I fixed your font-fail title. :P

Well, the forum moderator has to do something, else I'm just a guy with a fancy title and a purple name. :P

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:02 pm

I'm still editing it. :P


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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:54 pm

Creative name is creative.

Just saying. :P


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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:01 pm

I'm trying to decide whether or not that was complimentary....

You're off the hook for now. :P

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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:02 pm

:P

May I ask what this "Scantarva" is?


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PostSubject: Re: Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Review Topic   Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:07 pm

I coulda sworn I said it somewhere around here...
But basically, CD is split into three sections.

The lower half of the country is mainly field like, with somewhat tropical weather....

The middle section is mainly like New York, or other big cities. A lot of tall buildings and crowded streets.

The top half, named Scantarva, is a lot like alaska (Without the polar bear-hunting-almost Vice Presidents.) There's lots of mountains, Christmas trees, and snow.



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