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 Review: Hydranus' Log

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Makuta Luroka
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PostSubject: Review: Hydranus' Log   Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:23 am

This is the review topic for Hydranus' Log. It is a long epic detailing the chronicle of Luroka's efforts to accomplish his mission, spanning over 100,000 years. This journal will (hopefully) be updated weekly on Tuesdays. All discussion of the epic belongs here.

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The Spectral Mask
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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Mon Feb 23, 2015 1:40 am

Hey, Luroka, firstly I thought I would ask you if you preferred me to review your epic here or on BZPower.

Secondly, having played catch up on several chapters I missed, I must say that the effect of your writing is cumulative. When I point out that your chapters are short it's not a criticism - you're being very consistent about updating weekly, which I value more than length. But reading several together impresses upon me just how much forethought and world-building you've done, and I must say, hat's off to you, Luroka. This story is all story, deceptively simple, as threadbare and honest as your style of commenting in discussion threads, and the story is so strong that it makes up for any deficit in detail.

Your OC has so many projects going at once, and I'm sure many people on this site can empathize with him! :P But it's fascinating to be inside of his mind, knowing just enough tantalizing details to stay hooked until the next Tuesday update. From anyone else's point of view, Luroka would be the arc villain that every serial writer wishes he had - every once and a while, the hero would glimpse him up to something, and in-between updates the audience would rage on the forums, asking, "Is he evil, or does he have a good agenda but has to get his hands dirty and be a fall guy? What is his plan? Why is he doing all of these things?"

I remember finding out that Slade from Teen Titans didn't actually have a master plan; his various actions in the first season were just meant to look like he was planning something big, while the writers didn't know what it was. Teridax in the BIONICLE canon was a much better arc villain in this respect, which is impressive on LEGO's part, since they're a toy company first and a storyteller second, while Cartoon Network and its studios are the other way around. But I digress - my point is that you've captured the strength of the Makuta and expanded upon it in this fan fic, and I can't wait to see where all of this is going. Spectral

Way to play to your strengths, Luroka!

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Makuta Luroka
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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Mon Feb 23, 2015 1:34 pm

Whichever feels more comfortable.

Sorry I posted this last one rather late. I am making efforts to keep them pretty regular.

Yeah, he's a pretty interesting concept as far as protagonists go, and I had someone rage on me asking why I wrote him the way I did.

Thanks, man! Stay tuned for Entry Eleven!

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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Tue May 26, 2015 8:44 pm

Hm, for the first time Luroka encounters an obstacle to his esoteric plans. I love how his aloof nature is affected, but not broken, by his concern. He might know more than we do as readers, but he's still relatively naive. Being born with full knowledge of his destiny might have created a false sense of experience.

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Makuta Luroka
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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Wed May 27, 2015 2:34 am

Yeah, I created Avhidrex so that he would inspire Luroka to question himself. He may be nigh-omniscient, but he is not perfect. He is no god.

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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:35 pm

Oh, dear... for the first time, I worry that Luroka might falter in the responsibilities which he has been assigned. There have been hints before now, and while I expected him to face conflicts, internal and external, I have never until now doubted that he would keep his focus on repairing Spherus Magna...

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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:21 am

He has turned the makuta into twisted beings with no memories of the great being's plan specifically so that they wouldn't know what he is up to. Most of his efforts so far have been to make sure that the other makuta wouldn't interfere with his plans. He has one goal, and will see it accomplished, even if he has to take drastic measures to achieve it.

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PostSubject: Re: Review: Hydranus' Log   Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:01 pm

One tiny correction:

Makuta Luroka wrote:
The master turned away, and stepped back into his chamber, and Icarax fired a blast of lightning at his back. Makuta turned, and, in a rage, set upon the other makuta with a series of crippling blows, before magnetically slamming him into the wall out in the hallway. Icarax was severely wounded, and fell to his knees. He could heal from this, but most likely will not be challenging master any time soon. With that, the door slammed shut, and the makuta stormed off deeper into his quarters.

Otherwise, a fine chapter overall. Luroka spends a bit too much time throwing around the canon characters for my taste. I see his hubris developing, and I look forward to his fall - although it will be a tragic fall, for he has not yet lost sight of his goal of reuniting Spherus Magna. Still, I found myself sympathizing more with Icarax than with Luroka during their fight, and I am not sure if that is what you intended.

But with that having been said, switching between Luroka and Hydranus creates a pleasingly unsettling effect. I feel almost as if I am watching a single entity split in two, one an unhinged but immensely powerful tyrant, and the other a submissive wretch that can only watch in anticipation... as must we all. Spectral

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